Not really answering my question, one of my teachers (whom I like a lot) said, "Yes, your nose is weird! It's so big!"
The other students at the table immediately went silent. I immediately turned red and felt more embarrassed than I had in a very long time. I couldn't believe what she had said; it was possibly the most offensive things she could have said to me. She hadn't said that, in general, Westerners have larger noses; she had said that mine was. We all have our insecurities I guess, and that has been my own since middle school. In retrospect it sounds kind of silly. But her comment ruined the rest of the meal for me and I remained upset well into the afternoon.
Obviously, Jiang Laoshi hadn't meant to offend me. In fact, earlier in the day she had complimented me on my smile and a few weeks ago she told me that I was the best student in my grade-level. We told her that in America, making a comment like that was extremely impolite, and she brushed it off, saying "Ooh I see," and not appreciating that her words had actually been hurtful. Then another teacher said that Chinese people believe that if a person has a large nose, it means they have a lot of money, "but that it's not en exact science."
I considered accosting her after lunch and telling her how she had made me feel but didn't. I'm not sure if I'll mention it to her again. Chalk it up to cultural differences I guess.
My Korean mentor (a wealthy business man) opened the door to his house one day and saw me, saying in shock: "You look like a pig! Don't do that!" I had gained 10 pounds since he last saw me...so at that point I was 6'1", 190lbs...
ReplyDeleteI knew intellectually that this was actually a great moment in our relationship. He was expressing an intimate comment ... which expressed intimacy and caring. Still, the non-intellectual part of me remembers this today (obviously).
I see you with a similar intellectual understanding, and that's great. Remember, too, that you had asked about "weird" food, so you were likely also signalling a moment to talk openly about impressions of "the Other." This actually marked a moment of friendship between you, I would say. =)
Thanks for sharing this. By the way, great photos!
Haha I got the same comment too, Paul! Although I think it was generally meant as some sort of compliment!
ReplyDeleteJosh is teaching me some Chinese to impress you when you return.