Sexual Culture and Masculinity in China

Last spring I spent ten days in the outskirts of Santiago, Dominican Republic. One of the most shocking cultural differences I encountered between the United States and the DR is the value that the Dominican people place on machismo, and the overtly sexual nature of people's everyday interactions. The members of the community where my group and I lived threw parties for us three nights in a row, and every night the girls in my group dreaded being pressed up against and passed around by the Haitian and Dominican young men who lived in the Batay. Even more shocking, children as young as seven years old danced more provocatively than I have ever seen at any college party. We made friends with many of the young men during our stay, but I met no girls other than my host sister because they stayed indoors all day cooking and doing housework. One of the guys in the town said children there usually begin sexual activity under the age of ten.

While preparing for that trip, I read somewhere that the Dominican Republic's "machismo" culture is unmatched. In addition, I saw during my trip to Paris last summer that the stereotype of the flirty, googly-eyed and whistling Frenchman is not entirely without basis. But standards of masculinity also prevail in American culture, where a guy can earn man-points for "getting with" a lot of girls, having a muscular body, playing sports, etc.

I've learned during these past five months in China that this might just be one of the areas in which East and West differ the most.

(Note: This picture, found on Google Images, is actually of a Japanese man. But his hair is close enough to what I've seen here in Beijing.)

Perhaps most obviously, Chinese men's fashion choices would be considered "feminine" in the US. Some (not most) guys have long, razored and often dyed hair. Men's clothing is often fitted, colorful, and embroidered with zippers, chains, and sparkles. Men and their girlfriends often wear his-and-her matching T-shirts, and more often than not a guy will carry his girlfriend's heavy purse for her. Girls in China will frequently hold hands or hang an arm around one another while walking down the street to show that they're friends. Men are not this affectionate, but they do walk close enough to each other that I often do a "double take" to see if they are actually holding hands. (They never are.)

Lest you think that this clothing and behavior indicate social progressiveness, the Chinese are still for the most part pretty conservative. You see, to the Chinese, these characteristics aren't feminine at all - they're every bit masculine. An ignorant Westerner might accuse these men of being "gay," but that couldn't be farther from the truth. In fact, most Chinese people are against homosexuality. It isn't talked about in polite company or shown on TV, and the mention of it in class is sure to elicit a giggle from the teacher.

In any case, young people in China do not date until after college. Their parents and teachers actually forbid them from having a relationship during school because it would distract them from their studies. When guys and girls dance at a bar or club here in Beijing, they dance very innocently, with little touching. Growing up, every time I saw my cousins from Ecuador they inevitably asked me about my history and experiences with girls and the like. American guys and the Dominicans in the Batay were the same way. But I've hung out with groups of Chinese boys here, and to my surprise they do not ask these kinds of questions. Those topics are personal.

Obviously, there are plenty of men in China that fit American standards of masculinity, like this body builder. But one of my teachers told me that Chinese girls are more attracted by a good-looking face than muscles or height. I wish America were a little more like this — that would definitely take pressure off of skinny guys like me!

P.S. It's official; I'm going to Inner Mongolia on Wednesday for my fall break!